Yesterday, I deleted social media from my phone for the most part. Facebook – gone. Instagram – gone. Twitter – gone. I kept Reddit and I kept Facebook Pages. I deleted the apps rather than “deleting” (or rather, deactivating my accounts). I still love social media and have no disdain for social media regardless of all the current controversies. It is just certain aspects of social media that I am starting to grow disdain for.
I deleted the apps as well as a number of others because I kept falling down the rabbit hole. You hear this a lot. I get it. It is clear that there is a connection to social media and depression. At this point of my life, I am going through quite a bit of change. I recently moved out. I am practically on my own. I am in the process of altering my lifestyle which has caused me to lose more weight than I have ever lost before. Needless to say, I am in an extremely vulnerable place as I am trying to be the man I want to be and not the boy I once was.
I have had all these ideas that I want to pursue and all these plans, but I found myself not progressing at the rate I’d like. It was only in the gym that I noticed my habit for the first time. I kept just losing myself to mindless scrolling and low brow comments on Instagram and Facebook. In the last year, I have 11 photos and a handful of stories in the past 5 months, but I spent an adverse amount of time just losing myself to what others are posting. You compound that with the fact that I am trying to have a lifestyle change and you’ll find yourself in my rabbit hole.
Instagram lets you see what your aspirations are in “real life.” It does not help because you do not see how they achieved these “goals.” You don’t know anything and create this assumption based off a snapshot in time. When you’re following incredibly wealthy individuals, you can feel small real quick. Facebook wasn’t much better, but rather on the opposite side of the spectrum. I found myself getting myself involved with topics that I don’t prioritize. It was a waste of time.
Finally there comes that comparison you make to friends. You see how they’re doing and what they’re up to. There is that sense of missing out combined with seeing them in a great scenario. Part of you wishes you can partake with them. After all, they are your friends and you do supposedly enjoy each other’s company. The other part is envy. I have no idea where they are in their lives. I am happy their succeeding, but part of you wonders what you need to do to achieve that sense of happiness. It goes back to the whole snapshot, but there is a frustrating sense of knowing these individuals versus only knowing their persona.
With that, I deleted my social media from my phone. No more of that itch I have to see what everyone else is up to. No more of the distractions I imposed against myself.
To compound these actions, I found two different things that really inspired me. The first one is from The Church of What’s Happening Now with Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt.
They spend about 90 minutes discussing life and a lot of the same notions I mentioned above. One thing that stood out was how Joey journals just about every day and how relieving it is to do it. It helps put everything into perspective and allows him to feel good. Plus, it makes a great archive to see your progress (both good and bad). Around this same time, I noticed a friend of mine, Carly, who I noticed started changing things up. It started with her daily gratitude stories and culminated to this long post.
Happy #tacotuesday everybody! This is a post you want to READ THE WHOLE CAPTION of, it’s going to be long (and continue into the 2 comments below) but DO IT. It’s been a while again. In addition to Taco Tuesday it’s also the first day of May, which in addition to an overdone JT meme is also the start of #mentalhealthawareness month. Before I get into the real reason for this post I’ll note that the #fishtaco pictured from @borrachitonyc behind @thegarretbar is AMAZING & you should vamos a la taqueria asap 🌮🔥💯 Now, apologies in advance for the novel & any and all of the slightly heavy stuff to come, bare with me. In the past mental health awareness month is not something I would have acknowledged, but in the wake of some recent events… most notably the recent death by suicide of house music icon @avicii, I feel a need to use my platform to address this and share a bit of my truth here. When I started this account about 3.5 years ago, I truly started it as a passion project. A place to post fun photos of food and never in a million years did I think it would become the “thing” that it did. But when I began to gain followers and get likes, the instant gratification was… addicting to say the least. And when I began to get invited to events, get free meals and even PAID on occasion, I dove into the foodie world and never looked back. What many people don’t know if that my full time job was also in the food/hospitality industry, so I was pretty much surrounded by it 24/7. For a while this was my dream come true, it slowly began to become all I was. Hungry for likes, comments, engagement, I spent every second of my life taking, captioning and posting food photos for work AND eating, taking and prepping photos for this account (and in lame ass comment pods that do absolutely nothing and are so ridiculously obvious -bye). This took a toll mentally aaaand physically. I began to not even recognize myself as my “real life” self blurred the lines with my “foodie” self a bit too much for comfort and soon I was battling wanting to workout and eat healthy, with feeling guilty for missing events & opps that my foodie friends were attending… (continued below)
It is extremely relieving to know that I am not the only one out there that struggles with this in some form or another. This is one of those things that is talked about, but always in a private manner. Plus, Carly’s timing on this is impeccable. After talking with her, I knew what I had to do. I am going to take the advice of her and Joey Diaz and just journal (blog). After recently talking to Carly, she really help confirmed my ideas and it was nice to talk about things that really weigh on each other’s mentality. She claimed that the gratitude thing really changed her life. Her words; not mine. That is a statement that really struck me hard. Something as silly (Note: I say silly because all she does it post it on her Instagram stories and it is gone in 24 hours) and simple as this changed her life. I believe it gave her a lot of perspective and that is the type of thinking I need in my life. We all need to recognize what is in front of us before it isn’t.
There is no goal with this, but to document more. I will be sharing what I am thankful for Originally, my New Year’s goal this year was to document more. That notion is also to include more photos, videos, and blogging. I may have started 4 months late, but better late than never. I am excited about this venture as this blog post is more than I have written in sometime. I have already started reading again (although, that is more due to my hard drive) dying. So far to say that day 1 is off to a good start and much easier to break this “addiction” than it was to break my caffeine addiction.